“Wake up, girls! It’s time to get up and get ready for church!” I yell out as I walk down the hallway towards the girls’ bedrooms. I hear a faint “okay” followed by moans. Seeing that the girls have started to move about, I go back to my room to start getting ready myself. A few minutes later, my middle one shuffles in and asks, “What should I wear?” I tell her to just pick out a long-sleeve top and a pair of leggings. She says (whines) that she wants to wear a skirt and needs my help. I follow her back to her room and run thru several outfits, going back and forth between her non-stop whining and me doing my best to maintain my cool. I finally just step away and tell her to figure something out. After prodding me for more suggestions, she finally settles on an outfit and goes downstairs.
Tired from a long week and on my last nerve, I go back to my room to finish getting ready. To save time, I tell the girls to start brushing their hair and ask my oldest to help with my youngest. When I get downstairs I see my middle one playing around with her toys, her hair completely disheveled. And I just lose it. I start yelling and screaming. I can’t contain my anger and I just let it all out on her. I’m angry with my daughter, angry with the situation, an then angry at myself for losing control. The whole scenario felt all too familiar. God was testing my patience and I had failed miserably once again. I think to myself, what a great way to start Sunday morning.
You can imagine the mood in the car on the way to church. I felt like an utter failure, as a child of God and as a parent. I turn on K-LOVE for some relief and the song, “Your Grace is Enough” by Chris Tomlin comes on. As I hear the words, “Great is your faithfulness oh God. You wrestle with the sinner’s heart. You lead us by still waters and to mercy. And nothing can keep us apart….Your grace is enough for me,” tears start streaming down my face. I realize that God’s grace is more than enough to cover all of my sins, shortcomings and failures. I just need to surrender and let Him take control.
That song came on at just the right moment. I felt God reminding me of His unconditional grace just when I needed to hear it. And He didn’t stop there. He provided constant reminders throughout these past couple of days. The two hymns we happened to sing at the BSF meeting on Monday was Grace Greater Than Our Sin and Amazing Grace. In my small group, God’s abundant grace was once again the focus as Moses blessed the tribes of Israel before they were about to enter the Promised Land.
God knows our hearts. God knows what we need. God provides. The words in 2 Corinthians 12:9 never rang so true, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Have a blessed rest of the week!
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