“Let go and let God.” — as Christians we hear this phrase all the time. It’s become a cliché of sorts as it is often used in sermons, books, or uttered among fellow Christians as well-meaning advice in times of struggle. Although it may be overused like a cliché, its meaning and truth remain unchanged and essential to a Christian’s life of obedience.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about whether my life reflects this truth. Am I truly living a life in full surrender to God’s will? Have I really handed over the reins to God trusting that He will steer me in the right direction? And do I trust God enough to know that no matter where life takes me, He will not only help me endure but enable me to thrive in any situation as I remain in Him? This whirlwind of thoughts and questions have been swirling in my head lately and making me feel restless.

I am beyond thankful for my blessed life, my wonderful family, great friends, a house to come home to every day, abundant food and way too many clothes to wear. God blesses in abundance, always. However, I often feel like a little kid, happy to play in my safe little puddle of water when God wants to give me the ocean. I’m afraid to let go of my safe and comfortable little life and let God lead me to an abundant life of faith, where possibilities to know and serve Him are beyond measure.

I often feel like a little kid, happy to play in my safe little puddle of water when God wants to give me the ocean.

My husband came back from a week-long mission trip to Nicaragua last Friday. It had been almost 20 years since his last mission trip abroad and it’s been about 15 years since my last mission trip overseas. It brought back memories of my young adulthood when I was single and free to go anywhere anytime. I remember how involved I was in my church thru the Young Adult Group, teaching Sunday school and going on mission trips whenever I felt called. Through mission trips to Kenya and Nicaragua, God really opened my eyes to His sovereignty and allowed me to grow in my walk with Him. As I hold on to these memories, I often think of Paul’s words in Philippians 3:16, “Only let us live up to what we have already attained.”

After we got married, we both became more homebound. We had to think of our growing family with young kids that needed our care and attention. I believe there is a time for everything. Sometimes God calls us to reach out to the unreached people in a foreign land and sometimes He calls us to serve at home as parents raising their children in the ways of the Lord. But sometimes we become too comfortable in our current surroundings and are afraid and unwilling to step out of our comfort zone, often pointing to the demands of daily life as an excuse not to heed God’s call.

Memories of past mission trips, along with a recent church retreat about discipleship, have triggered my introspective state and the need to take inventory of my life. Is every aspect of my life glorifying to God? Am I using my time wisely, on things that matter? It made me think about this blog and whether it’s pleasing to God. I know that God has given me the opportunity to explore my creativity and my love of writing thru this blog and along the way, He’s allowed me to meet so many wonderful fellow bloggers. I am truly thankful for the positivity and encouragement I found among the bloggers, at least the ones that I’ve encountered so far. But I do have to admit that the blog is taking a lot of my time and I’m sure that most of us agree, it never seems to be enough. And I wonder if that time can be better used in serving Him in other aspects of my life.

I have been more like Martha, letting the urgent dictate the rhythm of my day instead of honing in on what’s important.

All these thoughts have been paralyzing in a way. Where do I go from here? The fact that I’ve finally been able to articulate my thoughts in writing is a step in the right direction. It made me realize that I have to go back to the basics, as is always the case. How will God reveal His will to me if I don’t give Him the time of day to do it? And how will I know and dwell in His will if I am not in synch with Him thru prayer and meditation on His Word. I have been more like Martha, letting the urgent dictate the rhythm of my day instead of honing in on what’s important. The minute I wake up, I have to make a conscious choice to obey and let Him rule the day. In His time, God will show me what He wants me to do and where He wants me to go and I hope and pray that my response will not be of fear or hesitation, but instead, of immediate trust and obedience as I rely on His promise in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Thanks for reading, for those who had the patience to plod thru my ramblings. Hope you have a blessed weekend!

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